Are You Willing To Be Recruited?

Corrin was trying to win a camping set and had to be at the "beach party" today in order to win. So she invited me. Here is what I saw:

This is a pepper eatting contest. Nothing too crazy.

This is "Beach Bum." He is 53 years old and competed against a bunch of 20 year old choads for the title of "King of the Beach." He won. This is exactly who I would install as king if Muskegon were to have a monarchy. Long live the King...

The rest of the evening was hanging out at Turtle House for Jake's birthday party. It was a good time. Met a few new people and caught up a bit with those I see often.

Too many girls crying these days. I don't like seeing girls cry. They should be having fun and dancing with me.

Tomorrow, I don't know what is going on. I have a few things I should work on. So, if you have any ideas on what to do, call me....

This Is a Special Message From Harry Crestwood

So, why is it everyone laughs when I tell them I am a teacher? Oh yeah, because I should not be an example for 3rd graders to follow. Anyway, the kids were a bit crazy today. There was so much arguing, pushing, cutting in line, tattling, picking, etc. Man, I hate punishing kids. But, if I don't do it they won't respect me and only get worse.

I can sum up this guys philosophy by saying "I hate northern, pro-choice, criminals without guns." That is unless of course he means he hates the New York Yankees. Then, I would agree. Go Tigers.

Right after work, my dad was getting a bit stir crazy and wanted to do something. So, we ended up going to some show. The only reason I agreed to go was I expected it to be strange. It was and I loved it.

If I had enough money, I'd buy this property and make it rad.

It was redneck Republican screw your sister night at Summer Celebration. I don't know why I thought I should go. Well, I actually just wanted to hang out with my friends. But, they hung out with some other folks and I knew that would be the case. So, I just left

The rest of the evening, I hung out at Lake Harbor Park with quite a few people. Love you guys.

Tomorrow, I will be going to the MTV party thing with a couple people. I guess one of them has a chance of winning a crazy impressive camping set. White Snake plays. Party at Turtle House. Anything else???

Like Living In a Late 80s/Early 90s Sitcom

First day of work was difficult to wake up for after Cinco De Moustache. Four hours of sleep just wasn't cutting it...

New job is good. I have 17-23 kids now. All of them in the 3rd grade. They are great. God, I really didn't want to be a teacher, but this is a pretty good gig. I don't think I could handle going back to college though. Actually, there is no chance in hell I will go back to college. I like the fact they call me "Mr. Mike" though. Formal, yet not at all...

Saw Styx last night. Good show and good seeing lots of old friends. Ben Evans is now 21. Yeah. Here is some of what I did last night:

Heritage Landing Armada

Mart Dock

Andy at his absolute sexiest

The scariest graffiti I have ever seen in my entire life. Muskegon's a blue county bitch.

Anyway, teaching at Moon school is crazy. I've been disciplining kids, bandaging them up, walking them home when their mother's don't pick them up, calling parents, giving homework, putting them on buses, and so much other shit. It's funny that I'm educating kids. Of all people in the education field, they got me. It's obvious they never checked my own school record. Or maybe they did and think I am one of those evil criminal genius who get busted, go good, and bust other evil geniuses. Very Catch Me If You Can, starring Tom Hanks and Leonardo De Caprio.

Don't Stop Believing...

Miss Amanda Monty and I headed to the Journey concert tonight. Good show. Now, I have some criticism of the Summer Celebration:

1. The inner circle in front of the stage should be a no lawn chair zone. That's where people should dance. Not pretend that the rock and/or roll concert is the damn symphony.

2. Wandering token people shouldn't stand next to the token booth. I suggest next to beer tent.

3. Get rid of the volunteer security who are power hungry. I was walking on the sidewalk and stopped by a volunteer Nazi. He said, "You can't stand in the walking area." I replied, "Ummm... Well, the only reason I am standing here is because you stopped me." His retort was, "You better watch yourself buddy." To which I wisely said, "What the fuck" and just walked around him.

4. Get the fat asses off of the golf carts. What are these people doing that is so damn important anyway? Why does a crowd of 17,000 people have to be compressed into one lane while exiting while some overweight guy drives around with a bag of popcorn?

That's about it. Something for me to do when I finally assemble my army and take over Muskegon by force.

Journey concert or a scene from an alien landing?

The rock that is Journey

View of Carneyville...

Tomorrow, I will have to work. So, more screaming kids, scrapped knees, love letters, snacks, and things normal to being the temporary father of 17-23 kids. Maybe going to the Paisley concert. I don't know other than that. You will just have to read this tomorrow around 3am to find out what happened...

CINCO DE MOUSTACHE!!!

Holy Shit. One of the best days of my life... It started out pretty early with a baseball game. It was an all-star performance by Team Jacob. I had a decent game as well. Defensively, I was pretty strong. Batting, I had one strikeout, two singles, and three homeruns. I don't have any pics of the game, but Andrea said she would send them to me.

Next up was volleyball. It was a good time at the beach as the pics show...

Cookout at Andrea's. Man, I spent $4 and ate like a king. I had a big ass steak, a grilled pepper, and a baked potato. I'm still full ten hours later...

Went to Mike's Inn and heckled folks from the patio. Some lady wanted to give me beads if I showed her my "bum." In hindsight, I probably should have. At the time, I was disturbed by her use of the word "bum."

What a great day. This is the best way I could have spent a day before having to start work tomorrow. Pure absolute drugged up hippie joy... That is how I feel about my friends.

HAPPY CINCO DE MOUSTACHE!!!

Hey all, as my new icon has indicated, it is the 5th Annual Cinco De Moustache! But, first things first.

Alice got food poisoning, so she didn't have her BBQ. Hope you feel better darling.

Went to GH as well. That town has more Backstreet Boy looking guys and crazed made up girls than most places. Are they trying to look beautiful or hide their insecurity? Anyway, got some shots of the beach and all.

The BBQ at Andrea's kind of happened. People showed up, but the BBQ did not. Too much rain and too little cooked meat.

Stopped by the Lakeshore Tavern and saw about everyone I know. God, some of them I haven't seen in six years. Good times fo' sure.

Went back to Andrea's and since it was after midnight, we had to shave the beards off for Cinco De Moustache. It's a nice ritual of carving beautiful beards and drawing on each other with Sharpie markers.

On a similar note, I've been getting a lot of compliments on my beard from the ladies lately. Makes me wish I kept it somewhat. One thing I love about Muskegon women is they love beards. I love that because I really hate shaving.

Tomorrow should be a good time. It starts off with baseball at 10am at MCGRAFT PARK! Notice my emphasis on MCGRAFT PARK because it was scheduled to be played at Del-Mar Park in Roosevelt Park, but the venue was changed. That will be followed up with Volleyball at the beach. Then there is Mike's Inn. I think there are some other things as well. So, it should be a wonderful Cinco De Moustache.

Bearded Gods

Amazing... Simply amazing...

Her First Mistake Was Wearing Stripes....

I didn't wake up until around 1 pm today. Surprising since I had hard liquor last night. I did wake up earlier to my family's noisy bullshit, but passed out like a good young man...

I woke up to a steak lunch. I don't know about you, but red meat for breakfast is a little harsh...

I worked on music management for much of the afternoon and then the 'zine. I have too much to do before I have a real job...

Went to Mike's tonight and this is what it looks like when everyone and their half retarded brother is there. Jebus fugin' Christo!

Everyone kind of left Mike's early and the Blue Note was on my way. I was going to go there in the first place, but someone said they'd call at a certain time and then called hours later. It's amazing I showed up anyway on my Schwinn. Met a cool person. It's nice to buy someone drinks once in a while

Oh yeah, Luke use to play baseball with me. I knew I knew him from somewhere. Muskegon is the jewel in my mother fuckin' huge crown. "Heaven is a place on earth."

I don't go to hair salons, but I love their names. This is a great example why. I know there is better. In Chicago, there is a place called "Curl Up and Dye." If I got a picture of that I would post it.

Anyway, tomorrow is the 4th and who really gives a shit? The British or Washington? I don't friggin' care? What I am excited about is the BBQ at 6 pm at Matt & Andrea's. Plus, I shave the beard off tomorrow leaving a moustache. Ladies, please keep your hands off until I say "go."

Beard On Beard Action

Not a bad day today. I don't remember if I said this, but I killed the comic book. Yet, I'm working on the 'zine again. That damn thing is sucking my soul right out of me. I'm not sure what to think about it right now. Is it too much or is it touching? We'll see how it comes out...

I took a bike ride to the lake too just to get out of the house. Had dinner with a pretty, nice visitor as well.

Adam had his party tonight. It was a really good time and quite the confidence booster. No pictures of that since my batteries are dead. Too damn bad.

Blackmailing Noah Hopson for... Does $300 Sound Good?

This message is for Noah only... I have in my possession incriminating photos your girlfriend in London may be very interested in. I saw an opportunity to take advantage of you and make some quick cash. Maybe in bike parts??? I fully expect you to take revenge when the tables have turned...

Went to the art fair for just a little bit yesterday. It was alright and saw some people I haven't seen in a while. Probably do it again today.

Saw War of the Worlds as well. It was alright. I think they kind of copped out at the end. It was entertaining. I give it a "B" in my grade book...

Spent much of the day with Amanda. Tried to buy concert tickets and failed since they only have lousy seats left. Drove around thinking about what to eat. Ended up at Racquets. Had a nice little bonfire at her house. Man, we're both Chatty Kathy's. I think every time we get into a conversation it ends up lasting two hours minimum. It's therapy for the both of us and I hope she feels better today about having lots of hard decisions to make. I've had a lot of those recently and don't envy her...

Taste the Revolution

I went to the dentist for real this time. Man, I think I will be going to the dentist more often. It was a lot more fun than I remember it being. Well, except for gagging again when they tried to make impressions. That shit keeps going down my throat.

Had to pick up Nick's package at the post office. Then I spent most of the afternoon working on the music business stuff. I think he got his money's worth today.

Got my assignment for my job today as well. All I have to say is it is very interesting. I will leave it at that.

Had a night on the town with Amanda. We went to the Landmark and Lakeshore for a few drinks. Maybe a few too many actually.

I don't have any plans for tomorrow. Who wants to go to Boyz II Men? I have a pass... Do you? Anyway, you know how to reach me.

Mt. McKinley is Covered in "Poo."

Got up for my dentist appointment today. Too bad it isn't until tomorrow.

Spent much of the afternoon working on music management stuff. I have to design a logo and letterhead for my new business. I have some good designs. I also have some bad designs. Something should work though and it will make us filthy rich...

I also worked on my 'zine. Man, I usually have a hard time coming up with material and feel like I've only got petty things to deal with. So far, I only have a couple of articles and I'm reaching deep into the abyss for this one. I guess that is what happen when you've had a Spring like mine. Thank god that Summer is here and way more fun.

Spent the evening over at Andrea and Matt's place. That is their rat above. Just sat on the porch drinking and talking about shit. Good times with the chimnea (sp?). The Tigers lost to the White Sox in extra innings. Damn shame...

If I have any inspiration at all about getting a job, about 99% of it is related to the fact I am living at home and slowly being driven crazy. Let's see, over the past few days I have had arguments about relish, drawers, a pizza box, a clean shirt being placed on a table, resting my legs on a chair, chicken, lawns, municipal government, and I'm sure a few other things. Most of the time it involves a lot of passive aggressive behavior. When is my sister going to move into my grandpa's old house? When hell freezes over is my guess. If she doesn't soon, I will and she can't live with me because she is too insane about silly shit.

Now that I have that off my chest, what to do tomorrow. Start off again with a dentist appointment (for real this time). Summer Celebration starts tomorrow. I might stop by for some of that nonsense. I don't think I'll see Los Lonely Boys or whoever they are. I'll save my energy for Boyz II Men. That's about it. Keep your eyes peeled Muskegon for a bearded man on an old fashioned blue Schwinn bike because I will be passing by like lightning. My legs are so toned and strong right now that I could kill a man like Catwoman. Now that's a sexy way to die...

I was suppose to title this something. I forgot what, but it was good... very good...

I don't understand this logo for the Silversides. Why is he wearing a German hat during WWII? What are those hoops shooting out of his mouth? Why is there a flag for the Riddler and Iraq? Is that a sex toy in his fin?

This is the first meeting of the bike gang. Aren't you all jealous? I need to set a date where a group of us can get together and raise hell. In the words of Mr. Gomez, "I didn't know what you were talking about with a bike gang, but I think I understand now and it rocks..." At least that is how I remember the quote... He may correct me in the comments box.

I think our first mission as a hell raising bike gang should be to steal this submarine. It needs a propeller to move. I think if we get a little spray paint and moxy, we can get away with it. Imagine a spray painted red submarine. They would never recognize it and we could easily get away...

Monday Night Club was as good as always. Nearing the end of the evening we turned Mike's Inn into a dance club. It made a lot of people nervous, but excited?!?!?!

That lead to a 3 am swim at Lake Harbor Park. What happens at Lake Harbor Park stays at Lake Harbor Park...

Ate and drank at the super air conditioned Vous until 6am.

Woke up too damn early this morning because I can't sleep in this heat. I will need to take a nap this afternoon if I'm going to do anything tonight. I guess we are organizing a group of people to go to the drive-in tonight. Other than that, I don't know...

"Juice Bag Sounds a Little Too Much Like Douche Bag."

Well, the comic book is dead. I've been having a lot of trouble with it and I realized why when I talked to Amanda about it a few nights back. The problem is I don't make comics. I make 'zines. So, I'm going to work on doing what I know again. It has similarities, but it's a different way of thinking.

Went to the drive-in with Hil and Dana. Rachel met us there. Saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Fairly decent movie. Pretty humorous with some good action sequences. A bit of eye candy too.

Tomorrow, I have another dentist appointment. This time to clean my teeth. I thought I was going to have that done last week, but no... Other than that, no plans. Ever since the basketball playoffs ended, it's difficult to come up with reasons to hang out. So, we need to figure something out. I don't care to sit at home any more than I have to...

As If I Needed Another Reason...

Let's see. What have I been up to?

A couple of days ago I went miniature golfing with Andrea and Lori at the Bat N Club. It was fun. None of us can mini golf though. That lead to Mango's where I had a good Cuban Wrap. A few hours later we were at Andrea's house.

It just proves it isn't a party until a man nipple shows up. This also shows why my blog has become the most feared in Muskegon. It has come to my attention that people are now coming to my site to gather dirt on other people. I don't know who you private investigators are, but I would like to. I have way more incriminating photos at home...

Had to pick up my bike at Mike's Inn since I left it there after the basketball game. Ben picked me up because he was going to Walker Arena for the flea market thing. Man, I love riding my bike.

I want to buy the red brick building...

Here's a pic from the deck of Captain Jack's for all of you people who don't know about where I live and should visit me. I got a bit sunburned eatting food and drinking on the deck.

Frances had her going away party last night. We all ended up dancing in the rain...

Today, I'm going to hang out at the beach with Caleb and Cindy, I guess. It should be good since I haven't seen them in forever. I really just want to go to the beach and cool off a bit. Jesus, I can't stand 90+ degree heat. I'm from Michigan and of northern German barbarian blood. My beard is way too hot. And I can't shave until Cinco de Moustache in about two weeks. My biggest problem right now is my family driving me nuts. As if I didn't need another reason to move out, they are playing show tunes right now. Suicide or homicide???

"There's a Speed Limit On This Street, Young Man!"

Let me start off with the title of this blog. This was a statement made toward me just moments ago. I was riding my bike down Frisbee Street and a man yelled "There's a Speed Limit On This Street, Young Man!"

"What!?! Are you kidding!?! I'm on a bike." I replied. Not just any bike, but a Schwinn cruising bike that may have a top speed of 15 mph. What the hell?

Anyway...

Spent much of the morning and afternoon working on Nick's music. Thing seem to be going well on that front. He's making some good music and things seem to be coming together well. The timing of all this just seems to be perfect.

Damanda threw a kick as cookout this afternoon. BBQ chicken, potato salad, baked beans, home grown vegetables, and Better Than Robert Redford for desert, which coincidentally is my nickname... Anyway...

Went to Amanda's afterwards to pick up my bike. It's funny how a two minute stop always turns into a 4 hour extravaganza. I really enjoy it. hmmm.... We then drove around downtown as I showed her some of the real estate I was looking at. I think she thinks I'm crazy. Well, I am...

Went back to Damanda's to eat some more Better Than Robert Redford and watch TV. The Andy Milinikilumuckapusadingdang (Sp?) Show on MTV was pretty interesting. Basically, they give a 12 year old kid a video camera and a budget and he fucks around with old people and MTV celebrities. Damn the genius of this kid. I was picking my ass at his age... In fact, I'm stick doing that... Damn that kid...

Tomorrow is Monday Night Club. I'm also planning to go to Meijer to buy a battery charger for my camera and TruValue for new sunglasses. I might have to buy a headband too as a way to emphasize my Richie Tannenbaum-ness. Or would it be my Rasheed Wallace-ness? Perhaps I will have a survey in my next blog...

"Bobby, Don't F*^# With a Girl and Her Toast"

Damn you Myspace. I have all these visitors to my blog now and feel guilty when I don't post. I feel like I let people down...

Didn't really do much yesterday anyway. Just went down to Mike's Inn and watched the Piston's lose game 7. Too damn bad.

Dancing did commence.

Here's Eleanor's senior photo. She's growing up...

Followed up Mike's with the Vous. Drank a little coffee and probably had one of the least serious, but fun conversations I've had in a long time.

Dancing and breathing...

Rawr

Started out the day with a lovely trip to Valueland. I had to pick up some clothes for work. I haven't bought clothes for myself in 2 1/2 to 3 years. Really, I haven't bought anything for myself in that time. Anyway, I got three nice shirts that are dressy, but casual. Nothing but polo shirts though. I like the red striped one...

On my way home, I saw this sign. This is Jacob's boss' house. He had his ceramic dutch boy stolen...

He'll only see it in photographs sent to him in the mail where it has been traveling all over the world...

Mr. Gomez and I spend the evening bar hopping. Went to Captain Jacks, Lakeshore, then the Blue Note. Saw some awesome people and had a good time.

That was followed up by a small pool party at someone's house. Lemon shots and pretty girls. I can live with that...

Tomorrow is the last Piston's game. They are tied 3 - 3 with winner take all. Can the Piston's win two in a row in San Antonio or are the defending champions going home in defeat? Oh the drama. This is where the magic happens. So, I will be at Mike's awaiting glory...

"If I Tell You It Better Not End Up On the Internet."

The dentist has turned into a futuristic wonderland. I haven't been to the dentist in three years and now there are computers everywhere. I went in for a teeth cleaning and didn't end up getting one. Although, I don't have any cavities. So, I had to schedule another appointment to clean my teeth and now have to think about removing my wisdom teeth as well. I will get a tooth whitening kit for free. They had to make impressions of my teeth and I almost puked on myself. This nasty pink strawberry flavored goo went down my throat and I gagged. I had to pull it out or I would have been a horrible site biking down McCracken.

I worked on Damanda's patio again today. The picture below shows the area we dug out.

We have the area all cleaned out and mostly level now. The next step is boxing it off and pouring the cement. There will be a pond and garden as well. It will look nice and I now have lifelong priviledges to it.

Damanda, Andrea, and I had dinner at BW3. They are good company and I hope that Andrea, Laurie, and I get to hang out on Friday. It should be a good time.

Piston's basketball game tonight and that means Mike's Inn. Oh, what? You didn't get the memo. Meeting tonight at Mike's Inn. Where the hell was everyone? The Piston's won and forced a game 7. It was exciting and there was very few of us hardcore folks celebrating. Look how quiet and lonely it looks... You bitches better be there Thursday for the back-to-back victory celebration followed by unnecessary, but very fun, celebratory riot.

Jacob and I went to Racquet's where it was just as lively. Had a bit of a heart-to-heart. Nothing is better than true friendship.

Rode my bike home and appreciated how nice it is to be home. How beautiful it is. How wonderful the people are. How relaxed the atmosphere is. And the possibilities I have for the future...

I have absolutely no plans for tomorrow. I need to keep the party going until July when I have to work. So, if you know of something going on we need to rock out.