The Secret To Life Is Blogged Right Here.

Pretty relaxing day yesterday. Kinda just laid around the house for the most part. Although, I have to say that the Detroit Tigers did win the World Series on Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball for the Super Nintendo yesterday. Too bad that is nowhere close to reality. Ah, my last summer of freedom.

Check out my new shoes. I got them for my job interview on Friday. They were on sale for $49.99 at Younkers. They remind me of grandpa shoes. In this picture, it looks like my legs are on a table at the morgue. So damn sexy with the white socks and grey pants. How can the ladies resist?

Normally, Jacob is a shy man. But, he requested... In fact, he begged me to post this picture of him. Why? Not quite sure. You will have to ask him. It reminds me of a combination of the cat from Alice in Wonderland, Dr. Evil, and the guy from Sin City, So, Jacob, this one is for you...

Hasan lived it up last night at Monday Night Klub. I think everyone got the "Jordanian Jackhammer." He was pretty bombed by the time Dave kicked us out and I had to convince him to let me drive the Beast. That Regal is one fine automobile. It's like driving a boat. Too bad the battery completely died this morning.

Anyway, today is Hasan's birthday. For all of you who did not get the bulletin, we are having dinner at 6pm at some restaurant. I don't know which since it hasn't been decided. Hasan wanted "McDonald, you know." We won't allow that. After dinner, it's Andrea Mather's house for cake and ice cream. That will be followed up with the drive-in. I don't know what movie yet, but I imagine it will be the 40 year old virgin if it is playing there. So, if I get more details I in time I will post them. If not, call my house. If not there, call Hasan's phone. If not there, you are probably not a real friend and shouldn't hang out with the Terrorist and the CIA.

Later.

"Then They Started Fighting Over Aaron Carter..."

Man, too tired. I just got home and I need some sleep. My friends are too fun for me. Do you want to know why Muskegon is a fun place to live? Look at the picture below and see what $6 can get you...

That's pretty much what I did yesterday. So...

Today, I am just going to bed and try to figure out what is going on later.

Love,

Mike Kraus

"I'm Trying To Hook Up These Two Guys. Neither One Knows They are Gay."

Not sure where I left off and don't really care. Here's a photo documentary of my life...

OH YEAH! Isn't this the most rock and/or roll picture ever? Fuck you if you say "no" because you are a loser. This picture is awesome....

More of Mike's Inn. I have a nice double chin in this too.

Andrea at the new park next to Mike's Inn. So damn awesome.

Look at this shit. Isn't this park beautiful? Man...

Brandon offered me a job in Muskegon Heights as his boss. Sounds like all I have to do is manage the budget and tell him what to do. You know, make him go pick up lunch for me and all. Which reminds me, I have to email him right now. He also informed me that some gay guy from the newspaper thinks I have a hot ass. Sweet. If I were queer I'd be rolling in men.

Good night tonight. I got started before everyone else and had to leave my bike at the bar because of it. Tomorrow, I will pick it up.

What is planned for tomorrow? Well, at 2 pm I will be golfing in crazy clothes; plaid pants, vest, and hat. Then, the drive-in. Should be a good day. Looking forward to it. Need sleep so I can think straight. Right on, losers!!!

Terrorist Intelligence Agency - Same Shit, Different Day (the hit album)

About a week ago, I bitched that Grand Haven was stupid because they have fireworks every year on a dune. Here is my evidence... And that asshole said people from Muskegon were "stupider."

Here is the Commie and the Terrorist.

I (CIA) hung out with Hasan for a while over at P & Q for a while trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Nothing, so we made up our own shit.

Met up with Alice over at Cadillac Jack's. It was a pretty good time. Jesse, Brandon, and TJ were there. I really wasn't in too much of a good mood and not feeling that active.

Brandon certainly knows how to woo the ladies. We are over at Buckley's and every girl who walked through the door got some kind of insult. That drunk asshole. Apologies all around ladies...

Not too sure what is going on today. I'm suppose to get my final paycheck, hang out with Frances, party at Turtle House, something else? Who knows? Call me if you do.