"BAWK, BAWK, Chicken, Chicken, BAWK, BAWK, Chicken Head..."

Another wonderful night in Skee-town. I looked at my bank statement yesterday and came to the realization that I could afford to live this way FOREVER! Since moving to Muskegon, I have not had to pay one bill for anything because I don't own anything except for bar tabs. I have a low wage job, yet it is enough to cover my entertainment expenses. If I get that high wage job I hope to get that would mean I could afford the lifestyle of a rock star to go along with the partying!

The night started out at Lakeshore where there was some country rock rockabilly thing band playing. They were alright, but we had to move on because we had bigger and better plans for the evening.

Those plans were to go to Mo'z. Muskegon's finest gay bar. Otherwise know as the Gay Lobster because it is in the old Red Lobster building. It's a pretty classy place. One of my friends, who's identity cannot be revealed, joined us and seemed to have a good time. He kept pointing out that I was getting checked out by other guys in the bar. Monty said "It's because you have a kind of Jude Law thing going for ya." Jude Law? That's a first. The most common comparisons I get in order from highest to lowest is 1) Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day (when hair dyed and all) 2) Leonardo Di Caprio 3) Brad Pitt 4) Eminem 5) "that guy from '13 Going on 30.'" 6) now Jude Law. Personally, I think it is my diet and exercise program I started recently. I've lost 10 lbs., gained quite a bit of muscle, and getting closer to gettting a six pack. I just need to lose about four more pounds and keep up my exercises. Maybe I will look like Danzig someday.

WATCH OUT GIRLS! THERE'S A TERRORIST BEHIND YOU! I really shouldn't say that because I pick on him all the time and he only responds to me with, "This guy here is the best guy in the world." Hasan, the terrorist, told me last night "everyone in Jordan is just like you. I've been here for four years and you are the first person I met that is like my friends back home man." What the fuck? You mean Amman, Jordan is a place full of people like me? The last place I would have looked is in the heart of the Middle East. So, next time he goes back home I told him I want to go. I am facinated by this. Plus, it's pretty close to Iraq. We could go for a lazy Sunday drive to Baghdad and look at all stuff that has been on the news for the past few years.

After closing down Mo'z, it was a night of Texas Hold'em at Amanda's. I need to figure out time to sleep. I slept three hours a couple nights ago. Passed out for two hours before going to Lakeshore yesterday afternoon. Around 4 am last night, I fell asleep playing poker sitting in a chair with my chin resting on my hand. I need to go to bed and will do so real soon so I can do it all again tonight.

Talking about tonight, I will be going rollerskating dressed in 70's attire. Amanda has requested that I wear the "hot pants" tonight. I will appease her. I haven't been to Skate Zone since I was eight. I should sleep now so I can leave at 5 pm. We are going there early because we are going to have their pizza for dinner.

Even though I feel kind of screwed up these days, at least I have great friends who I've known forever, are trustworthy, and fun.

Just Short of Not Enough

What a rough day yesterday. I really have to work a few things through and figure out what the hell is going on.

Although, I got some positive news on that job I applied for. Crossing my fingers that it will allow me to bail out of my current situation.

Hasan and Amanda sharing what appears to be a packet of salsa. By the look on Amanda's face, that salsa must be hawt...

Hung out with quite a few people last night. Some I expected, some I didn't, some who drove me. These three are the ones that kept me up real late last night so I could watch the waitress spill a whole glass of Coke on Adrian. I don't think Tania had her camera and Meghan just laughed...

Brought my 20-some kids from work to the county fair today. They hated it. It smelled like a farm and it "was boring." The picture above is from a horse show that seemed to be from a David Lynch movie. It was a decent time. When we got back to school, I was in charge of playing hot potato. My favorite game was the one that had probably 75-100 kids involved. Too many damn kids...

Tonight, we should have a pretty good time. I'm not sure what we are really going to do, but I think it should end up very good...

It's 1997 All Over Again...

Last night, it was all business. I'm now a manager for two people. I'm going to stop right there until I know I can help them get to where they need to go. Rad!

I saw this coming home from work today. I'm interested in purchasing it. It really reminds me of my 1984 Volkswagen Diesel Rabbit. This is a 1995 Volkswagen Golf City. Good deal on good wheels.

What to do tonight? I think I'd like to have a bit of fun. So, if anyone knows of something get ahold of me and we'll paint the town red...

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the Party Will Commence In the Drinking Gazebo

New Muskegon Drinking Gazebo Circa 2005

Monday Night Club was alright. Had a few drinks, good friends, fun conversation, and somehow I learned to shoot pool. Actually, I was playing amazing pool doing all sorts of trick shots and all. I should have won two games, but for some reason I was fucking up the real easy shots I had at the end. If I wanted to jump a ball, bounce it off the rail, and blow up the corner pocket I could make it... Karma.

Since it rained last night I ended up staying at Eleanor, Ryan, and Jacob's house. Nothing like showing up to work smelling like smoke and booze in clothes you slept in.

Kids were fine today. In fact, this week they have been really easy to take care of. Either that or I'm beginning not to care what they do... What a great dad I am to those 20-some odd kids...

Tonight I am suppose to go to the drive in. Good luck with that in the rain. Maybe we should move it to the Plaza or something. What to do? Give me a minute and I shall have a few ideas... I don't have any plans for Wednesday either. Do I? Did I plan to do something with someone tomorrow? If so, remind my dumb ass.

<3xoxo<3 Mike Kraus, Mayor for Life of Muskegon

Andrea Says I Am A Rock Star Without A Band...

Here's a leftover picture from a previous get together since my batteries died...

Relaxing night last night. Tania called to see if I wanted to go bowling with the rest of the posse. The first game was pretty much a bowling game and the second game turned into a grudge match. There was all sorts of pushing, shoving, slapping, yelling, and breaking of equipment. Bowling has never been so fun.

Next time I go bowling at Northway Lanes I will have to have my camera. I've never seen a place so full of Muskegon pride. It had all sorts of Muskegon stuff painted on the lanes and all. Plus, you can't beat the price. It is a well maintain and fine bowling facility that only charged $1 per game, hot dogs, and nachos. A poor man can live like a king in Muskegon. Long Live the King!!!

Went to the Vous for a little while. I think the only reason I wasn't tired when I woke up this morning was the fact that I drank so much coffee. Who needs sleep if you have caffeine? Took lots of picture on Tania's camera. Adrian pretty much messed up my hair the whole evening. Colleen wore her hawt bandana, "Hi and bye, Jake," and Bobby knows what he did.

I've been thinking about things recently. I've decided that is time for me to make some progress. So, I applied for a great position and hopefully I will get it. I also have another opportunity to start-up a non-profit youth center in Muskegon. That's along with my other projects. I'm sitting on the edge of doing something really good here. I need to stick to my priorities and move forward. It's time...

But before that happens... Monday Night Club tonight. I hope to see all of my friends there. I won't be in a limo this time, but I wish I was. That is the only way to go to Mike's Inn. No plans for tomorrow other than work. Maybe the drive-in. I'd like to round up a posse to go down there.

Most of you know my number if you want to do something. If not, write me here and I can update you on the rock and/or roll party that is my life...

Sooo,,,, Yeah.... Well... I Think I've Embarrassed Myself Enough For One Day...

Went out with the boys last night and had a good time. I had my hot pants on and that is always a good time...

Went to Camp Pendalouon with the kids today...

Here they are getting off the bus.

In the wigwam...

Haha!!! They are all asleep.

About 10 minutes before school got out, I had to break up a pretty big fight. These kids were punching the hell out of each other's faces. It was bad and I had to grab them by the scruff of their necks and hold them apart. They wanted to tear into each other like crazy. Wild dogs at times...

It's funny thinking about how you get places. A few months ago, I would have never believed I would be where I am now. Gotta make lemonade out of lemons, man... I'm having a great time with my friends and going out, but the rest is a mess. Patience and persistence. At some point, I will get my act together. I hope it is sooner than later...

Tonight, I have a b-day party. It should be a good time. Rumor has it there will be a pony and a clown. So damn excited. I have to make sure my batteries are fully charged for this...

Just When I Thought I Was Doing Great...

Alice has left the Skee-town. We'll miss that girl and have to find some time to go visit her in Chicago. She overfed me last night, which led me to make plans to visit her parent's house way more often for good eats. Alice's mom is a good cook and likes feeding people. I am people and I like being fed Asian dishes... Sorry Alice, you'll have to visit me often at your parent's house if you want to see me...

Saw some people I haven't seen in a while. It's good catching up and it's nice hanging out with them again. Good times, indeed.

Pretty foggy this morning. Sometimes it is difficult going to school because the turn to demons. The fog only adds to the scary film effect.

I'm not going to write anymore... I just don't feel up to it right now...

Michael and the Chocolate Factory Movie...

Got details about what happened on Monday night at Andrea's birthday bash. Yes, I do have a lot of apologies. Although, I seemed to have made lots of new friends and bought them a lot of alcohol. So, sorry and you're welcome to all...

Here's Hillary getting ready to go to the drive-in. "Get in the trunk and shut up!" Haha! Saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I don't know. It was alright. It's hard to create a good remake of a classic film. The Planet of the Apes kind of sucked too. It was entertaining though. Maybe if I was 8 years old and didn't know about the original film and grew up watching it over and over; I might like it...

This booth is as yellow as their popcorn butter...

Look at the clouds. I took this right after school and right before I got soaked in the storm. It looks like the clouds from Ghostbusters. Biking in the rain can be fun.

Tonight, I'll be going to a going away party. Hopefully, it will be fun and just slightly sad. We'll see her again. Once a Skee-towner, always a Skee-towner... I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow other than work. Being a school teacher is tough work. Not necessarily physically, but mentally...

Do I Owe You An Apology For Having Fun?

Good night last night. At least the part I can remember. It was Andrea's 21st b-day. So, we had a night out on the town. First, we went to Pints and Quarts to warm up. We had to get to Captain Jack's at 11 so we could get the limo, which was a surprise gift and I might still owe money on.

Sweet ride. We went to Mike's Inn for Monday Night Club, then to Rossi's in GH, and I don't know what after that. Oh yeah, on the way to GH we picked up some alcohol at the Sunny Mart. Nothing is more awesome than picking up drinks at Sunny Mart in a limo. All the hobos were jealous.

I'm not sure how much money I spent, but it was way too much. I don't know what I was doing, but I remember some girl yelling at me about something and I think I just laughed at her, which made her yell more. I'm not sure how I got home. I'm not sure why I thought it was a good idea to get that out of control when I had work at 8:45 the next morning. I'll have to talk to someone and make sure I don't have to make any apologies...

If I do, I am sorry... Otherwise, what a great time!!!

So, How Did We Get To This Point Again?

Seems like your average run of the mill day. I was tired as shit and still am. I'm on about 7 hours of sleep over three days. My friends and kids at school are going to kill me this month.

The picture above is what I did instead of taking a nap. It was Friday and that means Party In the Park. I only knew a couple of people and that isn't too unusual. Lots of people. Lots of brews. No sleep.

So, last night we were throwing a surprise b-day party for Andrea and needed supplies. Meijer was full of wackos last night since it was the first day of sales of Harry Potter starting at midnight. Check out these people. The sad, but puts a smile on my face, thing is this is a normal Friday night in Skee-town...

Can I talk about the party? I can't post any of the pictures. I don't even know where to begin or explain how only six people can be so out-of-control. Did I fall asleep and dream I was at Muskegon's version of the Playboy Mansion or what? I think I will have to write about this at another time once I have had my sleep and have processed what had happened at this party...

Anyway, you people out there bitching that there is nothing to do in Muskegon are lame asses. There are tons of things to do in this town and most of them are cheap as shit. The drive-in, beach, baseball, festivals, bowling, bars galore, on, and on, and on... I lived in Chicago and had fun. But, it was costly and I sometimes had to save up to go on a night on the town. I'm not even going to explain GR. Just overpriced and full of jerks. Muskegon is cheap, hilarious, and laidback. And if there is nothing to do you have to make your own fun. Ok? OKAY! That's my lesson of the day.

"AHH! YOU'RE GOING TO BURN YOUR MOOMOO!"

Started off the evening over at Amanda's. I helped her family install this new patio. All I really did was do a little digging. They did the rest. There's new concrete, landscaping, a pond, and soon to be lighting. It looks really nice...

Here is a decorative frog for the pond. He's so high...

Went to Mike's, but no one was there. So, we thought we should go to Lakeshore instead. Well, the Mike's posse moved the festivities and then there was everyone else I knew there as well. Good times and I don't know when I will learn that I should not stay out until 3am when I have to be at work at 8:45 am. When will I learn!!!

Never... It's too much fun...

We went on a field trip at school today. We spent the day at Hoffmaster State Park. I missed the nature walk because a kid had an accident. It was hilarious and I'm not going into detail. If you want to know, ask me sometime...

Two more of my 20 children. They were really good today.

This is lunch. It looks intimidating. But, if you divide and conquer you will succeed...

My job on the playground is to sit and watch kids. When someone smacks their face on something, fight, throw something, or whatever I will get my "big mean daddy" voice and set them straight. The rest of the time I smile and hang out with kids. The boys ask me to play football with them and the girls want to know if I have a girlfriend or try to set me up with a girl. Ahhh, recess...

This is my new god. He should be worshipped appropriately...

That's about it for now. It's shaping up to be an exciting weekend. I can't wait for all of the festivities to begin. There are b-day parties, drinking, and all kinds of stuff. So, call me and we shall rock out. Also, I am warning all of you that I have my agents out there and they WILL take prisoners...

Check Out What My Dentist Gave Me

I just had to show this to the world ASAP. I just got back from the dentist and look at what they gave me. It's my teeth. The blue comes off and is only there for the mold they made for my free bleaching kit. Apparently, I am a C-1 and have the chance to reach a B-1. I don't know what that means, but I assume it means whiter teeth in two weeks...

I'm Thinking Sheet Over

Kids were a bit rough yesterday. They are testing me whether or not I am serious with my punishments. Well, I am. I want to have fun with them, but they have to "cool it." I sent a couple to the office after doing "thinking sheet," which is a way of thinking about what they did wrong. They tested me again today and it ended up with me having to expell a kid from the program. Rough day. Tomorrow is our field trip and I hope they can relax a bit so we can have fun. The last thing I want to do is be a hard ass. That's being a teacher I guess...

Went to the drive-in with a few people to see Fantastic Four. My review, not fantastic. In fact, really boring. I fell asleep in a folding chair. Maybe the kids are wearing me out.

I have to go to the dentist in a few minutes to pick up my free bleaching kit. Yeah!. I will soon have those really scary white teeth that those old ladies with bleach blonde hair and super tan skin have. Maybe I'll look like Barbara Streisand's (sp?) husband. I don't know what I'm doing tonight yet. So, if you want to hang out give me a call, yo.

Corrupting the Bible Girls

Run of the mill day. Actually, I had to be that jerk teacher today. I discovered that a couple of my kids are illiterate. I don't know what to do about that. I guess I will have to talk to other teachers about it and try to get them into a special program. If that doesn't work, then I guess I will just have to teach them myself. I also had to do some punishments today because they were testing me. I'll let them get away with things, but not too much. I had to write up a kid for causing all kinds of disturbances and another for throwing rocks and slapping a kid. This is the worst part about being a father to 28 kids...

Like any good father, I went to the bar after work with Mr. Malmquist. Met up with a Mr. Walters and a Miss Talmadge. Played some pool and drank some liquor. Good times...

I think I looked like that Leprauchan (sp?) when I left tonight.

Check out the assessories to this vehicle. This explains why I had some of the weirdest art at art school. That squirrel was actually in my final show.

Nothing too special tomorrow. Just go to work in the morning, come home in the afternoon, maybe a nap, and then hopefully something good. If you want to do something good then you should contact me.

Sometimes I Can't Believe How Bold I Can Be...

Here are a couple of pics I was unable to post last night because of dead batteries...

This is Cowboy Mouth. Good show.

Here is Muskegon's own The Elements...

The garden downtown is coming right along. They have rocks and trees now. Amazing.

Monday Night Club reclaims Mike's Inn from Summer Celebration.

Pretty good day at work today. The kids were really good. I now have them compete for ranks such as "Line Captain." They did well in all of their classes and activities. I think I could handle having kids of my own after teaching this class. If I can manage 20 kids, how bad can one or two be? Anyway, that is way far away in the distant future. No babies tonight...

Monday Night Club reclaimed their territory at Mike's Inn from the bikers. I got there way too early and drank way too late. Right now, I should be in bed. In fact that is where I am going now. I hope the kids don't mind if I am hungover tomorrow...

Are You Willing To Be Recruited?

Corrin was trying to win a camping set and had to be at the "beach party" today in order to win. So she invited me. Here is what I saw:

This is a pepper eatting contest. Nothing too crazy.

This is "Beach Bum." He is 53 years old and competed against a bunch of 20 year old choads for the title of "King of the Beach." He won. This is exactly who I would install as king if Muskegon were to have a monarchy. Long live the King...

The rest of the evening was hanging out at Turtle House for Jake's birthday party. It was a good time. Met a few new people and caught up a bit with those I see often.

Too many girls crying these days. I don't like seeing girls cry. They should be having fun and dancing with me.

Tomorrow, I don't know what is going on. I have a few things I should work on. So, if you have any ideas on what to do, call me....

This Is a Special Message From Harry Crestwood

So, why is it everyone laughs when I tell them I am a teacher? Oh yeah, because I should not be an example for 3rd graders to follow. Anyway, the kids were a bit crazy today. There was so much arguing, pushing, cutting in line, tattling, picking, etc. Man, I hate punishing kids. But, if I don't do it they won't respect me and only get worse.

I can sum up this guys philosophy by saying "I hate northern, pro-choice, criminals without guns." That is unless of course he means he hates the New York Yankees. Then, I would agree. Go Tigers.

Right after work, my dad was getting a bit stir crazy and wanted to do something. So, we ended up going to some show. The only reason I agreed to go was I expected it to be strange. It was and I loved it.

If I had enough money, I'd buy this property and make it rad.

It was redneck Republican screw your sister night at Summer Celebration. I don't know why I thought I should go. Well, I actually just wanted to hang out with my friends. But, they hung out with some other folks and I knew that would be the case. So, I just left

The rest of the evening, I hung out at Lake Harbor Park with quite a few people. Love you guys.

Tomorrow, I will be going to the MTV party thing with a couple people. I guess one of them has a chance of winning a crazy impressive camping set. White Snake plays. Party at Turtle House. Anything else???

Like Living In a Late 80s/Early 90s Sitcom

First day of work was difficult to wake up for after Cinco De Moustache. Four hours of sleep just wasn't cutting it...

New job is good. I have 17-23 kids now. All of them in the 3rd grade. They are great. God, I really didn't want to be a teacher, but this is a pretty good gig. I don't think I could handle going back to college though. Actually, there is no chance in hell I will go back to college. I like the fact they call me "Mr. Mike" though. Formal, yet not at all...

Saw Styx last night. Good show and good seeing lots of old friends. Ben Evans is now 21. Yeah. Here is some of what I did last night:

Heritage Landing Armada

Mart Dock

Andy at his absolute sexiest

The scariest graffiti I have ever seen in my entire life. Muskegon's a blue county bitch.

Anyway, teaching at Moon school is crazy. I've been disciplining kids, bandaging them up, walking them home when their mother's don't pick them up, calling parents, giving homework, putting them on buses, and so much other shit. It's funny that I'm educating kids. Of all people in the education field, they got me. It's obvious they never checked my own school record. Or maybe they did and think I am one of those evil criminal genius who get busted, go good, and bust other evil geniuses. Very Catch Me If You Can, starring Tom Hanks and Leonardo De Caprio.